Let Me Tell You 'bout the Birds and the Bees

When I planted this flower in my garden, I had no idea that its name was "Bee Balm" nor did I know that aside from the obvious visual beauty of this gorgeous flower it attracts birds and bees.

Immediately, upon hearing that, I remembered the song "let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees and a thing called love'', and then I chuckled out loud. And, then I sat and reflected about how much life has changed in the arena of the birds and the bees and the story of intimacy and sex since I was a kid.

For one thing, when I was growing up, the word "sex" was never used! Never, ever, ever did I hear that word in my home, and I only heard it in school when used in reference to "being dirty." I can almost see today's kids rolling their eyes at this one. I know my kids sure do give the eye roll when I talk about my days of growing up!

I honestly and truly didn't find out about "the birds and the bees" until I was in 8th or 9th grade and the details were pretty sketchy because I had to sneak a peek in Webster's Dictionary and the only photos I could find weren't very graphic at all. I promise you that nobody talked about sex back then! Yes, I know that people did the birds and bees thing, but they didn't talk about it!

I was about 16 when my mother had "the talk" with me, and it consisted of "Watch what you're doing when you go on dates because you could end up pregnant." YIKES! Some education, huh? I didn't have a clue. And, there really wasn't anybody to ask because everybody's lips were sealed on this topic. It was something you talked about when girls got engaged, I guess. Okay, I'm sure there was some talk about it before getting engaged, but it sure wasn't like today! We blushed, we did a silly giggle, we got embarrassed, and we definitely thought we were getting away with murder if we whispered the word "sex" when we were in a group talking as highschoolers.

My kids grew up in an entirely different era, and as a parent, I've watched things move from the story of "the birds and the bees" to today's times of ads on TV for condoms, sex toys, and advertisements for websites that can introduce you to a sexual playmate. Quite a distance from the days of the "Bee Balm" plant!

Good or bad, this is the time in which we live, and I believe today's times carry an even greater responsibility on parents to have "the talk" with their kids than ever before! And, hopefully your talk will be a little more detailed and bit more God-centered than the one my poor mom gave to me. The story of love and making love (God's way) is beautiful and sincere and pure and perfect! And, it's a story that every child needs to hear!

As I was checking out the old "Bee Balm" plants, I thought, "Why not? What would be so wrong with going back to the basics of explaining how God designed things to be for husbands and wives? What would be so wrong with using the example of how bees carry and deposit pollen and then the plants blossom and grow? Why not use God's beautiful creations to explain His most wonderful design for love? Would today's kids grasp it? Or would they make fun?"

Today's kids would not only grasp it, but they would delight in it, I'm sure. And, they need to hear the story of love and sex as told from a godly perspective! We all love hearing the truth. We each have a place in our heart for purity and beauty. And, there's nothing that

draws kids closer to their parents than to hear them speak about God's plan for their lives.

Go for it! Buy a few Bee Balm plants, wait for the birds and the bees to arrive, and talk on! I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Love,

Clara

PS How did I explain love, sex, and God's design for marriage to my kids? I'm sure you're dying to know. Okay. Okay, I confess. I didn't do so well. I bought a book that had little naked cartoonish stick figures and gave it to them to read. I still have the book, and it will be a conversation piece for time evermore!

The Duck Tail -- You Gotta Love the 50's!

My kids think it's so funny when I tell them stories about "my times" of growing up. It's definitely a hoot for me to think back to how different things were back in the day.

So, let's talk for a minute about the duck tail hair cuts. I can remember standing on the playground of Hammonton High School in New Jersey swooning over Frankie Avalon as he would walk on by the chain-link fence and talk to us. Okay, maybe he didn't always talk, but he did wave at us as we girls gripped the fence in hopes that Frankie would walk over and touch one of our hands. No, trust me, he never touched mine. If he had, I would never have washed my hand again!

Frankie had a duck tail which was the absolute most studly fashion statement for guys' hair in the 5o's. This awesome style was the dream-child of barber Joe Cirella (Italian, I'm sure) and this fashion became the craze when television and movie stars began waltzing the streets with their ducktails, also known as the Duck's Butt, or the D.A., but we'll keep it polite here and stick with ducktail. You can actually look at the tail of a duck and see how Barber Cirella came up with this idea!

I remember my father ranting and raving about how awful that was! He had plenty to say about the ducktails! Truth-be-known, if he hadn't been in his 30's at the time or had a head of kinky waves that wouldn't comb straight, he would have strutted a duck tail, too.

What's all this have to do with us today? I guess I just think fashion raves are just that.....they come and go like the waves of the sea, and sometimes we get so hung up on what people wear, how they style their hair, or better yet, what color they put in their hair, that often we miss out on the heart of the person.

Ducktails in the 50's. The disco punk in the 60's and 70's. Long hair for guys. Short spikes for girls. Vice versa. Who cares? What really matters is what the person is made up of on the inside. The outside is nothing more than a signature fashion statement of the era in which we live. It's been that way for time evermore, and fashion statements will continue to change like the tide until the end of time.

I'm sure you're wondering if I had a ducktail? No way! That was for the guys. Me? Beehive all the way!

Love,

Clara

PS I sure do wish the ducktail would come back, guys! Why don't you work on that?

Inside Every Peanut There's a Man!

As a kid, I can remember many hours spent finding the "Peanut Man" inside of every peanut that I opened. If you haven't tried doing that, you should! You can see the shape of the man's face, his top hat, his moustache, and his long beard. You can even see Mr. Peanut Man's eyes looking right at you! And, the fun part is that no two peanut men are exactly the same!

Most of us have probably never looked for the man in the peanut, though. We dig through the bag, shell the peanuts, gobble them down, and then we're done, often hardly even taking the time to savor the lingering taste of the peanut. (Can you tell I'm a fan of peanuts?)

Isn't that how it is in life most of the time? In the course of a week, we come in contact with so many different people, we say a quick "hi", and exchange of few words, then go on our way never even savoring the flavor of the individual much less taking the time to look for the man inside each person!

Life is too wonderful to allow it to pass us by unnoticed! We do it with people in general, with our friends, and many times we even do this with our close family members including our children. We just gulp down the "mundane stuff of the day" without taking time to look at the individual man inside of each flavorful peanut. We busy ourselves with the menial tasks of everyday living, and carelessly toss aside the meatier parts of life, including spending enough time with one another to really get to know the heart and what makes each of us tick.

Who are the peanuts in your life? Your co-workers? Your aunts, uncles, and cousins? Your friends at school? Your mate? Your children? Your grandchildren? Do you take the time to really see them for who they are? Do you make the time to enjoy their individuality? Do you look for the things that make them uniquely and wonderfully different? It's FUN getting to know people, especially those close to us, on a more personal level. Everybody has something special, something unique, to add to the beauty of the day, but we must take the time to look for it!

Inside of every peanut there's a man just waiting to be discovered! There's a wonderful personality, a terrific brain, a flavorful side, and a uniqueness that was meant to be discovered.

Why not try something different today? Why not spend enough time with those you come in contact with to find the peanut inside the man? I have a feeling you're going to be happily surprised at all of the neat faces you'll find!

Love,

Clara

PS For those of you who are allergic to peanuts, keep in mind there are all kinds of other nuts in this world just waiting to be discovered!

The Bible Totin' Kid from Nashville

Every now and then something strikes a chord in your heart that plays a song that you'll remember forever. That's just how it was on my most recent trip to Nashville to visit family.

We were gathered in the livingroom saying our final goodbyes when my two-year-old grandson entered the room with all smiles. He was dressed up in his Sunday best and ready to go to church! He was happy from the inside out and you could tell. His eyes sparkled, there was dancing in his steps, and he clutched ever-so-proudly to his very own Bible! Yes, you heard me......he has his very own Bible at the age of two! Name inscribed on the Bible, too!

I captured a picture, not just because I think he is cute as all dickens, but because that was a sight precious to my heart. My son and his wife are teaching their children from little up the absolute JOY of knowing God! Going to church isn't a drudgery. It wasn't a sacrifice to get up early, get all dressed up in church clothes (when sunshine and a swimming pool were calling to them outside of the dining room window). It wasn't a hardship to carry that Bible around, nor was it an embarrassment. He was proud to be going to church! He was so happy to show me his name written on the front cover of his very own Bible! He was full of joy, and for all of the right reasons! God is love! God is our Father. God is our Redeember. God is our Everything!

In this hurried world of ours, we sometimes allow "things" to get in the way of way of the meatier parts of life -- those things of lasting significance. And, we often drift far, far away from what is of eternal value. We get sucked into the temporary fun stuff of life, and forget that we can have absolute fun while we're being totally in love with our heavenly Father. Joy and God are synonymous....they are not enemies of one another.

This photo of Zach is etched in my mind and burned on my heart forever. May we always strive for that child-like love of God! May we never be ashamed of calling God our Father! May we display our Bible in our hands, hearts, and homes with the same joy of this little one who so innocently said, "Gram, look! MY Bible!"

By giving our children the words of God, we are giving them the map to an eternity spent in heaven, as well as the guide for all of life while on earth. There will be hard troubles that smash into our lives. There will undoubtedly be difficult challenges that test us to the very core of our being. But, if we cling tightly and proudly to the words found in that Bible, there will be nothing that will ever pull us away from our God, our Father, and our Saviour!

Who knows what lies in store for this little two-year-old Bible totin' kid from Nashville! Maybe he will be the next voice that God uses to tell the world of His love. And, to think it all began with a little tan Bible in the hands of a very young boy from the hills of Tennessee!

Love,

Clara Hinton

There's More to Ice Cream Than Meets the Eye!

I don't know about you, but I love ice cream! I mean I really love ice cream, and apparently so do a lot of people! Give me the plain flavors like chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, and I'll get wowed! Give me the totally scrumptious flavors like almond peanut butter or black cherry and vanilla bean and I'll jump up and down with craziness!

For a lot of us, ice cream is a much more than just frozen milk, cream, and some flavoring. Ice cream is reason for getting together. Ice cream always is present at a party. Ice cream is something that cools us down on a hot, summery day. Ice cream is that stuff that gets all gooey on the faces of little ones and makes us look at the children with delight and say, "Oh, my word! Look how cute!" Ice cream is a great way to make memories!

Last weekend, I had the most wonderful Mother's Day ever! I got to visit with family in the grand city of Nashville, Tennessee! Granted, I love the city, and it's an awesome place to visit, BUT the city would not be what it is to me if I didn't have loved ones living there! I got to spend precious moments with some of my children and my grandchildren! And, guess what helped give us some of our most cherished moments of our time together? Ice cream!!!!!

We laughed, we talked, and ate all kinds of flavors of ice cream. The kids had ice cream all over their faces, on their shirts, on the tables and chairs, and nobody seemed to care. The "ice cream social" was too good for words!

We all need those "ice cream moments" when we can get together and just let our hair down and enjoy life. Those times when we forget we have any cares in this world, and we fall into the "I love life more than anything" mode. Those times when all we care to do is laugh and play and enjoy the moment.

If you've noticed the date of this blog, you'll know that my visit to Nashville was directly following the flood that did billions of dollars of damage in that fair city, as well as claimed lives of some very precious people. You might ask how we could take a break away from the heavy pain of this time of sorrow to eat ice cream and laugh. We did it because that is often how we deal with the deep sorrows of life -- we take some necessary small breaks away from the pain in order to recharge our batteries. We take mini grief breaks to give ourselves time to replenish and refuel.

The Nashville people were doing just that, too! Many were out last weekend talking, laughing, and enjoying some ice cream. They weren't disrespectful. They weren't forgetting the massive clean-up about to begin in the city. They weren't making light of the pain. They were simply getting energized for the work that lies ahead.

What's your pain today? More importantly, what's your plan for survival? Do you have an "ice cream social" planned? Maybe a "chocoate chip cookie fest" ? Or how about a movie-marathon? What is it that recharges you? What fills up your tank when it is running on low? Whatever it is, then do it today! It's a matter of survival!

Love,

Clara Hinton

Making Amends after Mom is Gone

Since Mother's Day is coming up, and the original use of this blog was for "healing", I decided to take a brief break away from talking about the Italy trip, and post some of my thoughts on how to make amends with your mother after she is gone (if, of course, there is a need to make any amends.)

Making Amends after Mom is Gone

Mother's Day has been one of the most difficult days of my life for two reasons. Twenty-two years ago I was carrying a 28-week-old son who died in my uterus. I knew he was no longer alive, but my doctor felt it was best for me to wait for spontaneous labor to begin, so.....while I waiting for these two longest weeks of my life to pass, Mother's Day arrived. I wept, I sorrowed, I grieved, and I wailed to God for allowing this to happen. The Thursday following Mother's Day, I delivered my baby boy who was forever still.

The Mother's Day before the loss of my son, I did something that was so out of character for me that I still cannot believe I did it. I totally ignored my mother on Mother's Day, and I did it knowing that I would hurt her deeply. I was angry with her for her alcohol problem. I was angry with her for destroying her health. I was just plain angry with her! Mostly, I was angry with her for not being the mother I thought she should be, so I foolishly and selfishly made the decision to withhold love from my mother on that particular Mother's Day. I've never been the same since.

Life never gives us everything we want or everything we think we need. My mother had problems dealing with depression. She had serious physical illnesses. And, to top it all off, she was a full-blown alcoholic shedding her misery on others every day of her life. And, I wasn't happy at all about that. "Why", I asked myself, "should I buy her a card filled with flattery and tell her things that weren't true?" "Why should I shower my mother with love when she would probably be far too drunk to even know that I tried to show her that I cared?"

Mom asked for a simple gift that year. She wanted a lawn chair -- the inexpensive kind that can be folded and carried any place in the yard. She wanted a $10 lawn chair, and I wouldn't give her that as a gift because I didn't feel she deserved it. Talk about having the wrong understanding of love!!! I didn't acknowledge her at all on Mother's Day, and forgiving myself has been a long, difficult, tear-filled journey.

Little did I know that my mother would never again see another Mother's Day. She died 10 months later from complications of the liver brought on by her constant drinking.

God, in His mercy, allowed me to hold my mother's hand as she drew her final breath, yet I never spoke the words I wanted to say to her. I never said, "Mom, I love you so much and I'm so ashamed of myself for not thanking you for giving me life, for taking care of me when it was so hard for you to even take care of yourself, and mostly of all thank you for pointing me to God." Instead, I pulled inward and kept that wall between us as she breavely took her final breath. My mother was gone, and I was left with only guilt. Guilt for not being being the daughter I should have been to my mother. Guilt for not acknowledging my mother on her final Mother's Day on earth. Guilt for not getting her that lawn chair that would have been so easy for me to give to her as a gift.

I have had lots of time to repent, and it has taken me years to finally feel the heavy weight of guilt removed from my heart. I learned an eternal lesson that I want to share with you on this Mother's Day and every Mother's Day to come. Please don't ever deny your mother the gift of love even if you think she doesn't deserve it. You have been given one mother, and it is both an honor and a privilege to show your mother that you care -- even if that love is never reciprocated. Every mother deserves to be hugged, loved, and treated special, and most especially on the day set aside for honoring mothers -- Mother's Day.

I miss my mother, and I have wished thousands of times over that I could tell her what I feel in my heart. I have visited her gravesite and talked with her there. I have written her letters and asked for her forgiveness. I have even bought her a lawn chair! In fact, every year since the death of my mother, I buy one lawn chair and give that chair to someone who might enjoy just sitting in the sunshine for a while.

Life without mother on Mother's Day is often empty and hollow. Add guilt to that, and it is horrible. Why not do something to remove that awful burden of guilt if you are feeling the same as I did? Do something special for your mother today! Don't delay. You don't have to have a special day or a special reason. Just do it! And, if your mother is no longer here, you can easily find another mother who just might need an extra hug, a smile, an "I love you" and maybe even a lawn chair!

Love,

Clara Hinton

Nine Hours and Twenty Three Minutes to Italy!

March 1 - March 2, 2010 - The Italy Trip

What do you think about when you are only nine hours and twenty three minutes away from seeing your lifetime dream fulfilled? Do you plan out what your reaction will be when you reach your destination? Do you try to imagine the sights, sounds, and tastes of your dream-come-true? Does your mind suddenly get flooded with questions? Or, do you remain calm and just take in each moment and savor those moments with every single breath you take?

Well, sit back and relax while I share with you just what I did when about to see my dream turn into reality.....

1) The first thing I did was to get situated right by the window seat on the plane because I was not about to miss even one second of the take-off for Italy, nor the landing in Rome, or anything in-between. Thank you, Chris, for giving me the window seat! I appreciate that more than you'll ever know!

2) I wrapped myself in a wool blanket so that I would stay warm for the next nine hours. (I'm an Italian granny, and this is what old people do!)

3) And, finally.....I tried to relax, but instead.........I went blank. Totally, completely, undeniably blank! My mind left me. It completely, "for real" left me!

So, I began to panic. I slapped the side of my face. I snapped my fingers. I kept pushing my feet hard against the floor of the plane until my toes went numb in my shoes. I pulled out the mirror in my purse and looked at my reflection to see if I had spinach stuck in my teeth. I combed my hair. I drank some water. And, I got up close and personal to Chris and stared at him ony to have him turn his face away from me as if to say, "You have got to be kidding me! She finally did it. She went toally nuts on me!"

Sorry, Chris, but I had to do something to make sure this trip was real. I honestly thought maybe -- just maybe -- I had died and was somehow being allowed to see Italy as a dream from heaven. Or, maybe I was in a hursing home, and all of my kids posted pictures of the passport, the airport, the plane, and signs that said "Italy" so that I would think, in my senility, that I was on my way to Rome. IT WASN'T REAL!!! But, then again, maybe it was! Maybe this was truly happening to me!

The attendants on the plane spoke only Italian, so you know how good I did with that. I whispered to Chris several times that I didn't understand one word of what was being said (although I sure did love hearing Italian being spoken), but he just looked straight ahead with eyes closed and headphones on. He was like a statue and he refused to turn his head to acknowledge me. He didn't blink. He sat frozen....face straight ahead, ears plugged, eyes closed.

Note to all parents: When your kids put on headphones, it's not because they're really listening to music. They're just tuning you out. And, when they close their eyes, they're not at all sleeping. They're totally ignoring you. So, don't even waste your time trying to talk to them. It never works. They just continue this routine until you finally go away.

Continuing on....after about the 4th hour into the flight, I knew I had to use the bathroom or it was not going to be pretty in our little seating area. But, my fake-sleeping son wasn't about to open his eyes to let me out of my seat, so I did what any mother would do in an emergency situation. I stood up and gave him a gentle, but firm, motherly push. And, in response, he gave me back a look that said, "Make it quick, lady, because I am not in any kind of mood to play games!"

Another note: Don't always take things at face value. Little did I know until several days later why Chris was so crabby with me when I wanted to go to the bathroom. He had been knocked around, bumped into, and shoved all night long by people shuffling back and forth to the bathroom. He had the aisle seat, remember? And, worst of all, "Barney"nailed him hard every single time she passed by! Nope, I'm not telling you any more. You'll just have to read what Chris has to say about that!

After the bathroom break, I finally concluded that this entire adventure must be for real. Angels don't have to pee, so I absolutely had to be alive. And, to build up an even stronger case for reality, if I was in a nursing home, I'd be wearing a diaper and wouldn't have to use the bathroom. This was it! I was half-way to Italy! This is for real, and there were only a few more hours to go!

I managed to fiddle around with the little monitor in front of me long enough to figure out how to turn it to display the flight map. We wer over Madrid....and getting closer and closer to Italy. We had been flying all night, and it was soon to be "sunrise over Italy." I pressed my face to the window and gasped with excitement! Yes, I took out my trusty Sony Cybershot and snapped some pics of the sunrise! Breathtaking! Gorgeous! Magnificent! Miraculous! I T A L Y!!!

In all honesty, I don't remember much more about the plane ride except what I've shared with you. I didn't do much journaling on the plane, as I was far too excited about the entire experience. I do know that the sunrise was nothing short of majestic. The puffy clouds were amazing. The streaks of red in the sky reminded me of the sun rising above the ocean on a perfect kind of day. The snow-capped mountains took my breath away. WOW! This was already far more than I'd imagined! I have no idea how the hours managed to tick by so quickly, but they did, and now we were hearing the announcement I'd been waiting to hear for over five decades. "Welcome to Italia!!!"

What's next? Well, let's just say that airports aren't all they're cracked up to be -- not when you realize that you're the only English speaking person among thousands! And, there is no real feeling of "safety while in a foreign land" when you are relying on a son who not only cannot understand a word of Italian, but who is sporting a rattail, a front fanny pack, and who uses a green shoe lace for his luggage carrier. Yep, more adventures are coming!

With love and tons of excitement,

Clara

Sleep? Nobody Needs Sleep when in Italy!

For those who have been traveling along with me on this journey from the US to Italy through my jouranl, let's pick up where we left off....at the airport where when Chris and I landed after traveling 4,408 miles and 9 hours 23 minutes to reach a life-long dream!

WOW! WOW! WOW! Italy! Italia! Italians! Beautiful people! Beautiful language! Pinch me. Is it real? It's funny how your body and mind seem to work in high gear and run in overtime when you're having fun! There is no way under the sun that I was about to feel tired. Not now, and not for a long time to come! Just walking through the airport in Italy was an adventure, and I didn't intend to miss one second of it!

Chris and I realized within seconds that we might be up against a bit of a "problemo" since neither one of up spoke Italian. Let's just say that the Italians made it very clear.....THEY were not the foreigners. We were, and it was our responsiblility to speak to them!

NOTE: When travling in a foreign country, bring along an interpreter, a dictionary with translations OR get really smart and study the language so that you can get directions, ask where the bathroom is located, and order your food!

Chris has a way with women, and he soon met "Anna", pronounced Ahhhhhna. She was drop-dead gorgeous, and she could also speak enough English to help us get pointed into the direction of a bus to Rome. Yep! Off to Rome after no sleep for twenty-four plus hours! Our plans were to tour a bit of Rome, get some great Italian food, then get back on a bus that was headed in the opposite direction, travel for three more hours, and meet up with our friends from the States, who are now living part-time in Italy.

My journal is as mixed up as I was at this point. Nothing was done in order. Nothing was planned, and we didn't care! We soaked up everything like sponges! The beauty of the buildings. The gorgeous blue sky. The long stretch of seamless highway. The miniature cars. The fast motorcycles. The scooters with lady drivers. The speeding trains. I'll say it again -- and all of the beautiful people! Italy was already proving to be an amazing place!

When the bus stopped in Rome, the very first thing we did was hit up a place for food! Authentic Italian food!

Three observations and then I'll close this chapter of the trip for today:

1) Never once did I reach inside my purse for my cell phone. When in the states, I couldn't go five minutes without calling or texting someone. What does this mean? Nothing philosophical, really. I knew my phone wouldn't work in Italy, so I didn't even try! *insert a big funny smile!*

2) I finally realized that my number 5 child, my son Chris, was a bit crazy. He is fearless. He walked up to any and every stranger on the street and gave a nod of the head and a bit of a side-kick dance with his tennis shoes and bright, neon green shoe laces. He also spoke words that he thought were Italian, but were really made up words. Chris, I knew you were faking it all along!

3) Chris is certifiably the most giving, caring person in the world to take, of all people, HIS MOTHER, on a trip to Italy! I could tell it was a stretch for him at times (okay, it was a stretch the entire trip), but HE DID IT! HE TOOK HIS MOM TO ITALY, and for that I will be forever greatful!

Chris, I can even *almost* get over the fact that you were sporting a rat tail and that golly-awful front fanny pack!

More tomorrow.......stay tuned for the ride to Petriotoli to meet up with our friends in Italy! That is where the true "Adventures in Italy" began!

Love,

Clara

Dulles Airport to Rome, Italy - but Hot Tea First!

C'mon and get ready for another adventure or two as you follow the traveling mother and son duo to Italy!

Monday, March 1, 2010 - 3:00 p.m.

Believe it or not, the half-hour flight from Pittsburgh to Washington was uneventful. In fact, I didn't even make a journal entry about that part of the trip. However, that all changed once we landed in Dulles Airport!

We had a few hours to kill before the final boarding for Italy, so Chris and I decided to get a quick snack to eat and then we would do our final money exchange. Okay, for me it was the only money exchange. Ever since Chris told me about this trip I had fussed and worried over the money. I told him I had a secret stash of cash saved for this trip, but I needed to know how much to bring along. Now, for me a "stash of cash" is an amount of coins that will fit loosely into a small coffee can. For Chris, a "stash" is...well, slightly more.

He kept telling me that I didn't need to worry about the money part, but I'm a mom and I wanted to pay for at least part of my way on this trip. So, I spotted "The Money Exchange" in the airport, and off I dragged Chris to help me get this task completed. I boldly stood up to the window and counted out my one dollar bills (I think I drove the teller crazy, and I know I drove Chris even MORE crazy). Yay! I now had "Euros" of my own to spend! I could treat Chris to meals, and I could buy some gifts. I could even help pay for gelato! Until this very moment, I didn't even know what the money exchange for Europe/Italy was called! Obviously, I had not met Rick Steves yet. (Do you remember him from a previous blog entry?)

Note: It's a super wonderful thing when your kids back off from showing you that you really are dumb! Even though you know that they know, when they don't tell you to your face it's greatly appreciated. Chris, thanks for allowing me the dignity of feeling like I was paying for some of this trip. I needed that! I really, really needed that! Thank you for allowing me to feel like I was contributing my part even though we both know that I wasn't.

Chris followed me to the window for the remaining "extra Euros" he was going to bring to Italy, and like a pro, he flashed that fanny belt of his to the teller, whipped out his plastic card, and said......"Cash it in!" We were set to go! The money exchange was completed. Look out Italy! Here we come!

We had another hour left to wait for boarding, so we went to our gate, and I was fidgety so I stood up and watched other planes taking off and landing. Chris was content doing the same until five minutes before time to board. No, I take that back....the call for boarding had been made. "Section 1 -- time to board!" We were in Section 2 which meant we were next!

What did Chris do right at that very moment? He looked at me and said, "You go ahead and board. I'm going to look for a place that sells hot tea." WHAT?!?!?! "We're boarding -- right now! You cannot leave here! We are boarding!" "Yes, I sure can leave! I want some hot tea, and there's no rush with the boarding. They'll be a good half hour boarding this plane." And, with that, off he went!

My stomach felt sick. Why does he have to do these things? Is it fun to see the color drain from my face? Is it a kind of game to play to see how long it takes to bring on the "big one"? He didn't need hot tea any more than I needed to meet the man in the moon. He wanted to make a momentous impact on me by missing the plane! I could see it in his face. This was all part of the plan. He'd call the other kids and tell them the trip was off because I went crazy on him right before the plane was ready to take off.

Now, this is where a lot of my family will be saying, "She's doing it again. She's exaggerating. She's fabricating a story. That really didn't happen the way mom is telling it." Kids, listen up! It DID happen, and it got worse!

The plane to Rome boarded..........and I continued to stand "alone" by the gate and I continued to text Chris. "Where are you?" "Please answer me!" "Everyone is on the plane but the two of us." "Please don't do this, Chris!"

Nothing. No answer. No Chris. So, I looked at the lady at the desk by the gate and explained, "My son and I belong on this plane that is going to Rome, but my son.....my son went to get some hot tea, and I can't find him." "Ma'am, I strongly suggest you get on that plane now because in exactly two minutes the doors will be shut, and that plane is taking off."

No time or energy to cry. My hands were trembling as I began another text. Darn him! I know he has his phone on. Where is he? I'm gonna kill him when I see him!!! That's when the text came through. "I got my tea. Got a bit side-tracked looking at the chicks. Am on my way."

I looked up to see Chris slowly walking along with that darned Rat Tail, his cup of tea, and his phone in his hand. And, he was laughing! He thought the entire incident was funny! He really, really did!

Another Note: All kids work very diligently to make their parents sweat blood, and most of them succeed more than once. And, for those wondering....yes, Chris was a success! I'm still very much in recovery!

We ran to the door of the plane, showed our boarding passes and passports, and the door was successfully slammed shut. This was it! Nine hours and twenty three minutes in flight. There were no more escape routes for Chris. The two of us, mother and son, on a large jumbo jet filled to capacity with people headed for Rome. Thank you, dear God! We made it this far!

There's no turning back now. The dream...... the life-long dream is finally going to happen!!!! Italy, I can almost touch you!

Off to Italy! - Pittsburgh International Airport

Let's continue along on this journey to Italy.......

Monday, March 1, 2010 - 11:30 a.m.

Pleskin (a friend of Chris') dropped us off at the airport in Pittsburgh to catch our first leg of the trip -- a short 30 minute flight to Dulles Airport in Washington, D.C. Nothing could go wrong at this point, right? We did a double and triple check to make sure that we had everything before leaving, so I felt more calm now than I had felt in the past two days.

"Should we check in at the kiosk?" I thought that was a fairly intelligent question coming from me. Chris looked at me with that, "You've got to be kidding!" look. I hate that because I feel like a mom asking her kid what to do. Kids are always supposed to ask their parents what to do! "No, we're going to the ticket counter because we have bags to check in, remember?" Whatever. I guess he's the man in charge at this point. I'm just happy that I'm on my way to Italy, and I'll be even happier when I get that boarding pass in my hands!!!

Off to wait in the line......I can still feel how hard my heart was pounding at that moment. Would I get to show my passport now? A passport!!! I still couldn't believe it. "Step up to the counter, please. Where are you heading, and how many bags do you have to check? May I see your passports?" It's REAL!!!!!

"Place your driver's license into the kiosk and it will print out your boarding passes, sir." No problem with that. Chris slid that driver's license of his right into the slot, and then it happened. ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! Umm........please don't tell me we didn't really get booked. No....nothing can go wrong at this point! There is absolutely nothing that is going to go wrong!

"Sir, let's try again. For some reason this is not reading your information. Where are you headed? Rome? What is the time of your flight?"

With that, a slow smile (kind of the "Hey dorks. You gotta be kidding me. You're flying to Rome?" type of look) came over the face of the person behind the counter. "You have made a slight mistake, sir. You've booked your flight with a different airline. We'd love to have you fly with us, but......not this time. Please take your baggage and clear the way for those who are boarding with our airline. You need to find your airline which is located on the opposite side and at the far end of this floor."

Now who was the one who was going to be flustered? I loved it!!!! It wasn't me who made this mix-up happen. It was Chris! But, did he care? Heck no! He stepped out of line, sat down his luggage in the middle of the ticket area, and said, "It's hot in this place and I forgot to put on my deodorant this morning. I need to find that and get smelling pretty before we leave for Italy."

I thought I was hearing wrong. I really, really thought I was hearing wrong! But that isn't the end. Much to my surprise, and much to the surprise of all of the people now staring, Chris dug through his stuff, found his deodorant stick, pulled up his shirt and began smearing his armpits as everyone stood and watched. Yep, that's the one who is going to take care of me in a foreign country. He's the one who is in charge and he began by taking us to the wrong airline. He's the one who is making us late because he's finishing his shower in the middle of the airport! He's the one who is soon going to cause me to have a mini breakdown!

After that little fiasco, we did indeed get our boarding passes, I got to flash my passport not once, but twice, and then the countdown for the first flight began. It was 1:30 p.m., and we were to leave for Dulles at 2:00 p.m.. You guessed it! The plane was delayed! Does Chris care? Are you kidding me? While I clutched onto my boarding pass and hung onto the desk at the gate where we were to board, he went off exploring the airport. I knew at that moment that this trip was NOT going to be an easy one!

Note to self: Keep reminding yourself that kids really don't want to make you go crazy. They just want you to have a sense of humor even if it means you must first have a mental breakdown in order to get the sense of humor!

Finally, finally.......the announcement came, "All those boarding at Gate 9 for Dulles Airport may now board the plane." Those words will never be forgotten. And...... neither will the deodorant exhibit in the middle of the airport be forgotton.

Just as an aside, for those of you who think that I'm fibbing, exaggerating, or just plain telling a lie....I'm NOT! My son, the one sporting that strange looking Rat Tail and that under-the-pants fanny belt (that he wore on the outside of his pants) did every one of those things, and in his mind it was all NORMAL!!!!

Stay tuned for the next stop.....Dulles Airport. There are more surprises awaiting!

Love,

Clara Hinton - aka "Bella"

Off to Italy! - Notes from My Journal - March 1, 2010

Well, if you've been following along, you already know that there was no sleep the night before the trip. Too much excitement! Let's take a peek into my journal to see what happened the morning of the trip!

March 1, 2010 - 7:00 a.m.

Coffee for me, tea for Chris, and then a bite of toast and then a double-check: Passport, camera, clothes, money (more about that later), checks to drop in the mail (hey, bills have to be paid!), letters to be mailed. Done! Oh, wait -- let's check the weather outside. We've had the worst winter in I don't know how many years -- a couple hundred inches of snow to be exact! I'm freezing, but it's probably my jitters about the trip. Nope! Not so! My feet aren't freezing because of my anxiety about the trip. It's 23 degrees in Shanksville and still snowing! Oh, if Italy has sunshine, I'll know there is a God! I honestly forget what the warm sunshine feels like! Please, please, please let there be sunshine!!!!! I'm craving it. I need it -- I NEED the sunshine!

Chris and I did very little talking before piling our few bags into the car. I think it was an understood message between us that for the next 16 days I'd be looking at his Rat Tail, and he'd be looking at -- well, he'd be looking at "ME"! I felt bad. I honestly felt bad for him at this point because I didn't see the same spark of excitement in his eyes as I was feeling. For me, this trip was a dream-come-true. For Chris, it was a trip of an unknown outcome. I'm sure he was wondering as he glanced at me, "Am I gonna make it 16 days without killing this woman? I could probably get away with it in Italy! I've gotta come up with a plan just in case she starts driving me totally nuts!" Well, like it or not, Chris, it's me and you for the next two weeks so get used to it, kiddo!

The drive into Somerset normally takes about 20 minutes, only today it took longer because of the ice and snow. GRRRR! Down 6th Street and what do I see? Nothing but that darned snow! I'm really sick of this weather, and I'm ready for a change! Italy, here we come! Did I happen to mention that I'm dying to see the sunshine? Italy, please, please have warm weather while we're there! (Note to myself: I really don't use the word "hate" often, but I'm using it now. I HATE all of the snow we've had this winter! There...I feel better just getting that off my chest!)

In the car, Chris and I talked about where we wanted to go in Italy, what we wanted to see, and how we thought things would be. For me.....I wanted to meet the people. Just walk among "my kind" and get the feel of what it must have been like for my grandparents, Franco and Angelina Lucca, who actually lived in Sicily before coming to the United States. I wanted to eat the food, hear the language, see the homes, walk along the sea, and listen to the beautiful music of Italy. I wanted to take in the sights, sounds and smells of everything. The Colosseum. The Vatican City. The Cistine Chapel. Rome. Lucca. Florence. Sicily. Ristorantes. Markets. Seafood. The wine and bread. Ahhhh.......my heart was doing dances just thinking about the awesome things in store for us!

Now, for any of you that know Chris, let's just say he is not very openly expressive nor is he within the realm of what I'd call normal with his romanticism for life. In fact, there are times his bluntness and off-the-wall nuttiness kind of stuns me. This was one of those stunning moments!

"I want to check out all of the chicks, hit some naked beaches, and eat ten meals a day so I can get fat and see if the chicks still go crazy over me. Uh, I want to grow my Rat Tail down my back and twirl it around my finger real sexy-like, I want to grow a razzle-frazzle beard, and I want to flash my fanny pack and make the girls die for me. Oh, yeah....I'm also going to lock you up in your room once a day and go cruisin' around at night to see what the night life is all about."

Huh? Oh, wow! I had a sinking feeling that this could be the trip of my life, only not quite the way I'd imagined. Oh, Lord.....that was about all I could think. Please be with me, Lord. If he acts like this, I'm not gonna make it. I really won't make it. If this kid wrecks up this trip by acting like a 30-year-old Rat Tail, I'll lose it with him. I really will!

NOTE: Moms can say stuff like this because we're moms. After going through the infant, toddler, pre-teen, and teen years, you kind of expect your kids to grow up a bit -- especially when going to a place like Italy. Darn you, Chris! (You'll just have to keep reading in the days ahead to see what happens.)

As we continued to drive along, Chris mentioned "Rick Steves" this and "Rick Steves" that. I had not one iota of a clue what or who he was talking about. Who or what is Rick Steves? A movie star? A famous composer? Somebody Chris knew from work? Somebody we were going to meet up with in Italy? A friend from college who was going to help us find hotel rooms? (No, we didn't have one reservation made! We were entering Italy totally without a place to stay! Another Chris idea, of course! ) I didn't know who Rick Steves was then, but I'd soon learn all about this character.............

Stay tuned for more of the "Adventures of Mom and the Rat Tail in Italy"! I assure you......this is not your normal trip!

Ciao!

Clara - "Bella"

Italy - Quotes from My Journal - Day 1

Well, I've thought a lot about how to share my thoughts with you about my dream-come-true visit to Italy, and the very best way I know to do is to use my daily journal and quote from there. After all, those thoughts were the "real deal" -- the thoughts I had right at the moment. So, let's get started! I hope you'll follow along with me, and "tour Italy" and "tour my heart" for the next several days. The trip was 16 days, but my blog will be more than 16 entries. Come on -- I could write three blogs on Chris' first few moments at Pittsburgh International Airport! What a boy! The Rat Tail Son takes Mom on the Trip of her Life! -- How's that for a good title? :)

Pre-trip Jitters - February 28, 2010 - Sunday

Wow! Off to Rome in just a few short hours. No sleep last night -- way too excited! My mind is swirling and going in every direction. Did I forget to pack anything? Do I have my passport? Gosh! The passport! I cry every time I look at it. For years and years I've dreamed about seeing my face on a passport, and that dream has finally come true. I held it close to me when it arrived in the mail. Holding something in your hands alway makes it seem more real. Yes, I can touch my passport. That means it's real!

Chris spent the night at the house on Sunday so that we could go over last minute details of the trip, and I know he was being "fatherly" towards me. He thinks I don't know how to pack. UGH! Why don't kids get it that their parents somehow managed to get through life without their guidance? I think I get upset about this part because it's a reminder that I'm getting older and that creeping fear always makes my mind think, "The kids are patronizing me because they think I'm getting too old too fast and won't be able to do stuff like traveling very much longer." Hey kids -- your mama isn't dead yet! She has lots of life and spunk left in her so please don't treat me like I'm an antique! Thanks! I just had to get that off of my chest! I hope that doesn't sound unappreciative......you kids will understand what I mean when you get older, too. It's a whole different world when you begin the downward descent of your life than when you're climbing to the peak. Parents don't want to lose their place in the family. They always want to be parents! I guess that's a tip for anyone reading this blog. Always allow your parents to keep their place of dignity. Thanks.

Anyway, Chris bought me an extra memory card for my Sony Cybershot Point and Shoot which is the next best thing to my passport. That Sony is attached to me, and NOBODY will get near it, or they'll see a crazy Italian Mama for sure! Thanks so much for the memory card and the trip to Walmart, Chris! Greatly appreciated 'cause I didn't have the time to go there! Also, thanks a million for researching hotels, places to eat, plane tickets, travel itineray, and all the zillions of other things you did to prepare for this trip. I wonder if I said "thank you" enough to him? Chris, THANK YOU again and again!!!! I know he will never fully understand what this trip means to me, but I'll be sure to share with him my thoughts all along the way. (I can just see him groaning already! My kids hate it that I talk so much! )

Packing was done by 1:00 a.m., then a shower, then WIDE AWAKE thinking about what it will be like. Will I love every minute? Will I get afraid since I have never traveled outside of the United States? Will I be disappointed? Visiting Italy has always been my dream -- will it turn into a mini nightmare instead? Why do thoughts like these even exist, crazy woman??!!?? You know you're gonna LOVE Italy! Well, I hope and pray I'm gonna love Italy! I know one thing....the trip is happening! The trip is really, really happening, and my heart is racing just thinking about it. This has been a dream of mine since I was about 9-years-old.

I can remember sitting under the grape arbor with Grandmom Lucca when I was nine. She was "babysitting" me while my mom was in the hospital after delivering my baby sister, Ruth. Grandmom Lucca never learned to speak English, so you can just imagine the conversation we had under the arbor. She flailed her hands and occasionally got out a word that I understood. And, I sat staring at her face thinking, "I love you so much, and I don't even know how to tell you. I want to be like you. I want to vist the place where you were born. I want to talk like you. I want to know more about you. I want to see Italy!"

Instead, I ended up crying because she got frustrated with me because I couldn't speak Italian. I couldn't wait for my dad to come get me at 5:00. He spoke English AND Italian perfectly. "Why didn't you teach me how to speak Italian, dad?" "Because it's too hard." End of discussion, but not the end of my dream!!!! Never the end of my dream!!!!

Stay tuned for more thoughts tomorrow!

Love,

Clara aka "Bella"

PS Dreams really do come true!!!! Never, ever give up on your dreams!

Petritoli -- the Village that Won My Heart!

A few months before visiting Italy, friends of ours from the States contacted us and said, "We're going to be in Italy the same time as you, and you simply must come visit us. We bought a small home in Petritoli, and we won't take no for an answer You will visit us!"

And, visit we did! There aren't words to express what Chris and I experienced while in Petritoli, the small self-sufficient villa of 2500 located by the Adriatic Sea to one side and the Sibillini Mountains to the west. Talk about breathtaking! Talk about quaint, and historial, and warm, and giving one the sense of community! The essence of Petritoli is what I dreamed Italy would be, and it turned out to be even more! None of this would have been possible, of course, without the hospitality and friendship of Tom and Kirsten. It's a small, small world and friends are an essential and beautiful part of that world!

Note: Choose friends wisely, and cherish those friends always! Tom and Kirsten, you always have a place to stay with me! And, I will always thank you for opening your home to me!

This blog, in order to do justice to the topics of friendship, beauty of Italy, and events we encountered while in Petritoli, will no doubt turn into several mini blogs as I want to include photos to share with you, also. The sheer beauty of this villa is enough to make your eyes pop right out of your head!

Stepping off of the bus onto the curb in the quaint town of Petritoli, we spotted Tom running to welcome us to Italy! We were all so excited to see each other that the conversation was lively, and filled with laughter as we drove to the local coffee house in the villa to meet up with Kirsten. Walking through the doorway to the coffee house was an experience in and of itself! Sitting on couches and comfy chairs were neighborhood friends, Kirsten sitting central among them as she and Tom were the villa guests. Francesa jumped up to greet us with a hug, a kiss, and a glass of wine! Ahh....you gotta love the people of Italy! One-by-one, the others gave hugs, kisses, offered more wine and cheese and crackers than we needed, and the chatter and laughter continued on into the night. (Keep in mind that Chris and I had gone well beyond 24 hours without a hint of sleep, but who cared? We were far too enthralled by the experience of it all to need any sleep!)

Note: Dogs are allowed in all eateries in Italy as we learned that evening. At first I wondered if everyone there needed a seeing-eye dog, but I soon found out that dogs are as much a part of the culture as people, and so they are included in all activities, including coffee talk!

Also Note: Italians have held tight to the art of conversation! My golly, how much I've been starved for that! I haven't had an evening like this in years! Talking, laughing, sharing the events of the day, and openly and freely hugging and kissing! I cannot even tell you how much I've missed that element in my life. I grew up living in an Italian town with first and second generation Italians who held fast to the culture. Since leaving, I've found myself having to adapt to a hand-off, no hugging, no kissing, and very restrained "visit by invitation only" type of living. Thank you, God, for restoring my belief that there are people left among us who still spend evenings sitting around talking, laughing, and eating together and openly and freely welcome others into their circle of friends!

After getting warmed up with lots of wine for me (hot tea for Chris -- he was a total teetotaler while in Italy!), delicious chocolates, cheeses, fruits, and crackers, we said our farewells for the evening to our newly formed circle of friends in Petriotoli, and off we went with Tom and Kirsten to their home for dinner.

Another thing to Note: Dinner is never served in Italy before 8:30 p.m.! The hours prior to that are spent chatting with friends, sipping on wine, and enjoying the home-baked delicacies of the day! I loved the Italian life-style already!

I'll end the blog on this note for today. There was only one challenge that I had to date since setting foot in Italy -- the toilettes! For the love of Pete, I got locked into every stall I used, and it took me at least 20 minutes each time to figure out the technique of "how to flush"! Tom and Kirsten's home presented the same challenge. Not only was their toilette located on floor 4 of their home, BUT it was a pull string flush that didn't always work! Needless to say, there will be an entire blog of nothing but "la toilettas" in Italia! But, for today.....Tom and Kirsten, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for introducing us to the ways of Italy and to the beauty of Petritoli!

Next item in the journal...dinner at 11:00 p.m.!!! Kirsten is world's best cook -- I'm totally convinced of that!

Love,

Clara

You gotta be kidding me -- A "Winter Hurricane" -- What's next?!?!?!?!

I think I've about heard it all now. First two feet of snow. Then, three feet of snow. Then, the blizzard of 2010. Now........the "winter hurricane"! What's next?!?!?!? The winds raged, the snow fell to the tune of 18 more inches, the drifts in my driveway are over 6 feet high.......and all roads that lead into town are closed. Bare ground has not been seen since December 1, 2009, and it's now February 26, 2010. I don't know if I should laugh or cry or just pull the covers up over my head and sleep away the remainder of the winter.

Doesn't life throw all of us curves like that from time-to-time? It sure has happened to me more than once, and I'm sure it's happened to you, too! I can well remember the day when 5 of my kids broke out in chicken pox all of the same day. UGH! Or the time when the car broke down and had to be towed three different times in one week -- and all I was doing was trying to get the kids to the doctor because they had been vomiting for a week straight! Sure, I can recall the time the power was out for 5 days during a blizzard and the house was so cold you could see your breath. I kept the two babies bundled in snowsuits and had no way to heat their formula and they froze their little bottoms off just getting their diapers changed.

Stacks of unpaid bills. Sick kids. A broken down car. The flu. A killer migraine. And, then unexpected company standing at the door! We've all been there -- at the place of near collapse wishing that we could just hibernate until all of the problems go away!

But, the truth is we know that we can't hibernate, and as along as we're living and breathing there will be blizzards, snowstorms, and even winter hurricanes that will surround us, trap us in for a while, and try to crush us. BUT, you know what? We manage to make it somehow. We really do! And, sometimes we just need some reminders that life won't always be winter and storms. The sun will come out, the flowers will bloom, and the sky will be blue!

If you're getting slammed by winter right now like I am, try to relax. Sometimes there's nothing we can do but "get through" and hold on to the knowledge that this too shall pass. Winter won't last forever and spring will surely arrive!

I'm still snowed in, and you know what? I stayed in my pj's all day, drank a little wine, indulged in a lot of chocolate, listened to some awesome music, and took advantage of a day off from work. I had a "winter hurricane party", and the night is still young! Hey, why not make the best of a bad situation? Wanna join me? Hop on your snowmobile and come on over. Happy hour begins around eight!

Love and hugs,

Clara

Sometimes you just gotta get away from it all!

Sometimes you just gotta get away from it all! I know. I know every excuse in the book because I've probably used them all. "I don't have the time. I don't have the money. I have too much going on. I can't leave the kids. I can't leave my family. I feel guilty for thinking of myself. The time isn't right. I'll wait until next year. My car won't make it. I'm too afraid to fly. Everything's too expensive." And on and on the excuses go!

The truth is that sometimes you just gotta get away from it all or you'll go nuts! That's just about how I was feeling when I left for the beach a few days ago. This winter has been long and hard and cold and brutal. I feel deprived and grumpy when I don't see the sunshine and blue sky for long periods of time. I need to feel the warm sunshine as much as a baby needs to feel the warm hugs of his mama . Winter takes its toll on me, and I knew that it was time to get away from it all for just a few days.

No, my bank account wasn't ready for this trip. It's NEVER ready for a trip. But, I knew if I didn't let a bill or two go and head for the sunshine that I would be emotionally and physically bankrupt in another two weeks. So, I decided to cast all reason aside and fly the friendly skies to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina!

What happened? Well, I can tell you this much. I saw the sunshine every day! I walked the beach for miles and miles. I got up at 6:00 a.m. each day so that I could be on the beach with my camera in order to catch the first glimpse of the morning sun. I found hundreds of awesome seashells (and brought every one of my treasures back home with me). I laughed and smiled and joked and enjoyed meals with friends. I made new friends and laughed some more. I walked to the end of a pier and took hundreds of pictures of the ocean and sand and sea. I went to bed listening to the sound of the ocean waves lapping up against the shore. I woke up to the music of those same ocean waves beckoning me to come enjoy another day of play. And I played hard. And, I got revived.

The light in me that was beginning to flicker and dim is now shining brighter than ever! Yep, I have those same bills to pay. I came home to the same dirty dishes and laundry I left behind. The snow was still piled a mile high. The same problems I left behind were here, and even some new ones arrived. BUT, I'm revived!!!! I'm alive and revived and my mind is more clear, my heart is happier, and I weigh 5 pounds more. And, what a trip! What beautiful memories! What awesome experiences! What a nice retreat away from the grueling winter. What a sweet taste of the beautiful spring that is soon to come!

Do it! Don't postpone any longer. Sometimes you just gotta pack up and get away from it all!

Love and hugs,

Clara

Every beginning has an end -- so they say!

I've never read a book that didn't have an ending. It may not have been the ending I was anticipating, but there was an ending. Today's blog I'm writing about is none other than the snow we've been getting that began in mid-November of 2009. It is now February 17, 2010 and it is still snowing. The pages of the "book of snow" continue. I know there has to be an end -- so they say, but it's not going to be today. The snow continues to fall. And fall. And fall.

Why is snow such a big topic, you might ask? After all, doesn't the northeast always get snow? Sure we do, but not of this magnitude. Not of this persistence. Not of this strength. Not of this length. We usually get a break inbetween blasts of the wintery white stuff. But, this time, it just continues on and one with nary a break, and every now and then you can throw in a 50-inch blast!

I guess this is a good reminder to me about life. Sometimes life's problems are like this snow. We tend to go through seasons when winter is winter -- all of the regular stuff we have to deal with. Then, there are WINTERS, the kind that give you the days of unending problems, the pile-ups of difficulties that lead to that one big blast that knocks us off of our feet for a while.

So what do we do? Well, in the case of "the snow story", I've decided to just watch it, not fight it, and on most days enjoy it. In fact, I set my alarm to get up earlier than usual this morning just so I could sip a cup of steaming tea and watch the snow falling gently from the sky. I wondered what God was thinking about all of this. Is this a gift -- a blessing? Maybe He wants us to slow down. Maybe He wants us to be more thankful for sunny days. Maybe He wants us to recognize Him as the Creator of all things -- even the snow. I know I found myself having some prayer time along with my tea time, and it felt good. I found myself counting blessings, not reminding myself of problems.

The same analogy can be made when we have "a problem pile-up" in our lives. It's so hard to do, but......maybe God wants us to slow down. Maybe we've been going full-steam ahead in the wrong direction and He wants us to stop before we fall into deep danger. Maybe our tired bodies and weary minds need a rest. Maybe He wants us to see the futility of this life and get real about things that matter -- things of eternal nature. Heavy stuff--these snow stories!!!

And endings? Who knows how anything will end? I love the element of surprise, don't you? When I read a book I hate knowing what the ending is going to be. I love books that keep me on edge right up until the final paragragh of the book. I think that's how it's going to be with this snow. There will be and end to it. When? Who knows? It could be tomorrow. It could be April. It could be June. Why fret about it? Let's just enjoy the element of surprise. We know for a fact that it's going to end. Spring always arrives -- and just at the right time, too!

About or problems in life.....it stinks when we go through the big pile-ups. And, worse yet are the 50-inch crashes that sometimes occur. But, there will be an end to those days, too. If we look we can always find a rainbow. There's never a time when spring doesn't arrive on time.

What am I saying? Hold on and ride out the storm. Every beginning has an end. We just don't know "when" or "how", but we have to walk by faith knowing that there is a gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful spring waiting for us!

Love to you all,

Clara

One hundred seventy five inches and counting!!!!!

Yes, that's correct. We've now gone over the 175 inch mark for snow accumulation this winter, and today the sky continues to drop down the white stuff at a steady pace of about an inch an hour.

I got up early this morning -- 5:30 a.m. to be exact -- and sprinted to the kitchen to flip on the outside lights. I wanted to see what was happening with the snow, of course. And, hardly surprised, I saw that the snow had continued to fall throughout the night and was relentless. We haven't had a winter like this since I can remember! My first thought was to get angry. Darn! Another day of fighting the icy, snow-covered roads to get to work. Another day of frozen feet. Another day without sunshine. But then...........

I put on a pot of delicious coffee to perk, and grabbed my most favorite soft blanket in all of the world, and began to rethink this entire snow thing. Okay. So, it's snowing. So what? The snow is beautiful. It's white and clean and fresh and soft. And, on top of all of that, my life is way too full of blessings to let snowflakes take away my joy.

So, I began counting my blessings, naming them one-by-one: hugs and kisses, love notes and love texts (hey, it's 2010~~~we text love letters these days!), wonderful kids and the most awesome grandkids, a family who loves me unconditionally. Okay, I know....getting kind of sappy, but it's true.

As I sipped on my steaming coffee, I thought of more and more blessings: a warm home, peace in my life, friends to die for, a wonderful job, the privilege to teach (something I LOVE to do!), delicious food, electricity, a computer, a car, a phone, and Oscar. How could I ever forget my dog, Oscar? He showers me with sloppy, bad-breath kisses every day whether or not I deserve them. He's my forever and always bud!

Sure there's more: the freedom I enjoy living in this land of abundance, kindness shown to me every day, eyesight, hearing, the ability to walk and talk, good health. God. God is central to my life and the foundation of everything I do. How much I thank Him for putting people in my life when I was a child who told me about my God. Thank you, Grandmom!!! Thank you to my mom and dad. Sisters. What a blessing -- one in heaven and one on earth. My cup overflows with blessings.

See what I mean? I could go on for hours naming the awesome people and blessings in my life!!! Now, don't get jealous and get thinking my life is ALL blessings and no pain. Are you kidding me? Everybody alive has lots of pain and heartache, and I've often been "Queen of Pain", but...you know what? Pain always leads me right back to the same thing -- counting my blessings. I hope if you're having a rough kind of day today that you'll grab a cup of coffee, tea or hot cocoa and start counting, too. Yeah. I'm counting the inches of snow that keeps falling, but I'm counting my blessings, too, and I think you can guess which pile is adding up the quickest!

Hang in there.......the snow will one day melt and winter will leave. But, your blessings are FOREVER!!!! Count them one-by-one, and fill that heart of yours with joy!

I love you bunches!

Clara

A Picture Really is Worth A Thousand Words!

Well, it has happened -- the worst winter in a century or more! Over 160 inches of snowfall, with another foot of snow in today's forecast. And, to think it's only February!!!!

I'm cold. I'm tired of being snowed in. I'm weary of shoveling my porch only to have it covered over in snow again in a few hours. My stomach gets tied in knots when I get in the car to drive on the icy roads with near zero visibility. I'm not amused with ice boulders every few feet smacking into the side of my car. And, I'm already anticipating what the flooding is going to be like when this snow finally begins to melt.

BUT..........the truth of the matter is that winter is here and there is really nothing I can do to change that fact. I can fuss and fume. I can cry and whine. I can pout and scream. I can threaten to leave the area. I can kick in the side of my car when it gets stuck in yet another snow drift. But none of that helps. It only gives a spike to my blood pressure and makes my mood change to a dismal level of complaint and ungratefulness.

We really and truly do have choices when it comes to situations like this. We can fight it, OR we can make a quiet resolve to get through the "winter of our lives" as best we can and come through a survivor. I've decided to chill out and get through. One of the ways I'm doing this is by looking at lots and lots of pictures of happy times I've spent in the sunshine! Times when life felt good and right and warm and wonderful. Times when the sun was literally shining on my face and making me feel alive and energized from the inside out.

And, you know what? It helps! It honest and truly helps to remember those happy times and to actually "see" that those times were real. I spent some time this morning looking through my photos and smiling. Ahhh.......so many wonderful moments spent in the sunshine with family and friends. So many gorgeous photos of flowers and green grass and blue skies and fluffy white clouds floating aimlessly through the sky. Just seein the photos of the sunshine helped take away the chill my body was feeling as the snow continued to fall.

Even more helpful is looking at these pictures and absolutely knowing that spring will return just as certain as the night will turn into day. I have found HOPE in the winter of my life by remembering the springtimes that I've been so blessed to enjoy! A picture really is worth a thousand words and more!!!!

If you're in the dead of winter and it feels like it's never going to end, why not pull out some photo albums and begin to be filled with hope and joy? I guarantee you that you'll have tons of laughter along the way, too! Winter? Sure. Everybody goes through winter, and some winters are worse than others. But............everybody gets to experience spring, too, and many, many springs are too awesome to put into words.

Stop fighting winter. It's here. It won't last forever. Make the most of it (there actually is beauty to be found -- even in the most horrible of winters). And, get out those pictures of the moments you've enjoyed in the springtimes of your life. Laugh. Love. Live. Enjoy. Yep, even in the winter!!! Why wait until spring when you can be happy today?

Love to you,
Clara

Another Valentine's Day Spent Alone

For many people, just the words "Valentine's Day" sends a shiver of pain up their spine. For them it means being alone again. Nobody to call them special. No flowers sent to their door. No box of chocolate candy to share by candlelight with the love of your life. No romantic date. No hugs and kisses and hearing those words we all crave, "I love you." Valentine's Day for many is a day of heartache and reminders of being nobody's special one.

All of this could get rather dismal, BUT we do have choices in things like this. I know......you probably don't want to hear it because you've heard it so many times before. "Life is a sum of the choices we make. We can choose to be happy or we can choose to live in misery." There was a time in my own life when that was told to me and I wanted to raise my leg and do a karate kick right in the person's face who was talking to me. I, like you, didn't want to hear it. It's difficult to hear that we have a choice in matters of the heart. But, it's true.

I'm convinced that very few people will have that movie-star, dream of a lifetime type of Valentine's Day. Couples will argue and fight. Many will go to extravagant extremes and increase their debt on their charge cards. Others will buy cards and flowers only to have them thrown out the next day. The thought of Valentine's Day is awesome, but the reality of life is that we really and truly should be living as though every day was Valentine's Day -- speaking those words "I love you" to those we love more than once a year. Doing acts of kindness and love in the little daily things such as taking out the garbage without being asked, running the vacuum to help out, giving a much-needed word of encouragement to someone who needs it. None of these things cost money, but they do add up in the bank account of life. Small, unsolicited kindnesses often make the difference between a person wanting to get up in the morning or not.

So, how should YOU spend Valentine's Day this year if you're alone? Well, I have two suggestions and I've done both so I know that both work. You can choose to ignore the fact that the calendar has extra words printed on it that say "Valentine's Day." Keep in mind, those are only words, and the 24 hours on February 14 will pass just as surely as the 24 hours on February 15 will pass, so why get all fussed up about it? Don't put yourself into a tailspin and throw yourself into depression over a date on a calendar!!!!

You can also do something that requres some action, and I guarantee you that it will make you feel like a million bucks even if you're feeling like a tarnished penny right now. DO SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE ELSE!

Do you have a nearby Children's Hospital or Nursing Home? If so, make a visit and deliver a bag of valentines (you can get a box for a dollar at the Dollar Tree) and have the nurses distribute them to someone in a hospital who has no visitor that day. I get happy just thinking about doing that!!!! Take a bunch of valentines with you and go to a local mall and hand them out to passers by. Will they think you're crazy? Some might, but I'll guarantee you that many will thank you because YOU will be their only Valentine this year. Go to a local eatery (not a fine dining establishment) and pay for someone's meal anonymously. How awesome that would be!!!! I assure you there will be lots of people eating alone on Valentine's Day -- not just you. Get creative. You can make a list of 50 or more ways to make someone else's day brighter, I'm sure, and when you do, YOU have become a SPECIAL VALENTINE to each one and your own heart will overflow with love, too.

Yes, we do have a choice. Me? I have my box of Scooby Doo valentines sitting on the kitchen table all ready to go!

Bunches of love to you,
Clara

What's this crazy feeling I have?

Have you ever gotten hit with a feeling and you don't really know what it is? You feel kinda sick, no energy, can't sleep right......nothing feels or seems right...and there's some kind of "nagging" that just won't go away? I think we probably can all identify. I know I sure can!

That very thing has happened to me time and time again, and I just could never pinpoint what it was until about 5 years ago. It's GRIEF. GRIEF. Yep, GRIEF! I don't even like the sound of that word!!!!

I used to get that sick ache in my stomach as a kid when my parents would argue and fight. I got that same awful feeling when I didn't complete a homework assignment in school on time and got into trouble. I got that feeling when my 13-year-old sister died (and I was only 15). That was REALLY bad!!! "That feeling" stayed for at least two years, and I had no clue what to call it. Grief wasn't even a word in the dictionary back then -- at least I sure never heard that word being used in school!

That same "crazy feeling" came over me when my first child got married and moved away. My stomach ached and I felt awful. Nothing that the doctor could diagnose, but I knew I just didn't feel right. So, is grief what you call heartache?

I think so many of us hurt inside and we don't know what to call it and we sure don't know how to deal with "it"! That "it" is grief, and it's tough. It can rip us apart, flatten us, and leave us feeling like we've been beaten up.

I'll be talking more about this in different blogs, but for now I just want to say that the first step to "healing" is knowing how to identify this thing called grief. If you have no real physical illness that can be diagnosed by a doctor, and if you've had some kind of major life change going on, then I'd say you are probably experiencing grief. It stinks. It hurts. It makes you feel like garbage. BUT........................it does get better! I promise you. It takes time, and it takes talking, and it takes work, but it does get better.

If you're going through something that is a grief to you right now, take time to write down your thoughts on a piece of paper. Then, share with someone how much you hurt. Find others who have gone through similar experiences as you're going through. Then, line up your support.....any friends you can find who will listen and be a help! And, read, read, read all you can to help you find ways to cope.

What helped me? Getting out among nature. I LOVE taking walks in the woods, looking at the moon and twinkling stars, watching flowers bloom, feeling the soft breeze of springtime touch my face. The more you surround yourself with positive, healing, hopeful things, the more your mind will be saturated with thoughts of healing. Hang in there!!! Work hard!!! Trust your gut and do what is best for you!! And, remember...."it will get better!"

Love,
Clara Hinton
http://www.silentgrief.com/